I'm Surrounded By Insane Gay Women
by Roxius
Summary: Poor Lelouch suffers, as usual, but this time with lesbian hijinks...as usual. Kallen X C.C., Milly X Shirley, emotionally broken Lelouch...this fic's got it all! Except for Diethard. Please R & R! A SECOND CHAPTER HAS BEEN ADDED!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

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"GODDAMMIT, YOU ATE ALL THE PIZZA AGAIN, C.C.?!!!"

"YEAH, I DID!! WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT, KALLEY?!!"

Lelouch sighed, and rubbed his temples. All this yelling was not only distracting him from his schoolwork, but it was beginning to give him a migraine.

"I'LL FUCKIN' BREAK YOU IN HALF, WOMAN!!!"

"HA!! I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY, YOU DAMN SLUT!!!"

Lelouch clenched his pencil tightly, and took in several deep breaths. Although his door was locked, the two girls could still be heard quite clearly out in the hallway.

"I'LL SNAP YOU LIKE A TWIG WITH MY GERMAN SUPLEX!!!"

"YEAH, IT'S JUST LIKE YOU TO USE SOMETHING THAT SOUNDS SO TOTALLY BUTCH!!"

A few minutes later, a loud shriek was heard, and Lelouch's door came crashing down as C.C. was thrown into the room by a rather infuriated Kallen.

Lelouch turned in his chair to face the two woman and screamed, "WHY THE HELL CAN'T YOU TWO JUST BE QUIET AND MAKE OUT LIKE NORMAL LESBIAN LOVERS, FOR GOD'S SAKE?!!!"

"BECAUSE," Kallen replied, her face still red with fury, "SHE ATE ALL THE DAMN PIZZA!!!"

C.C., however, seemed to still be lying on the floor, clutching her arm as she winced in pain. "Oww...I...I think you broke my arm..." she whimpered, tears forming in her eyes, "You...you hurt me...why...why...why would you hurt me? I thought...I thought you loved me..."

Kallen gasped, and her rage immediately ceased. She quickly ran over to poor C.C. and lifted her up, bridal-style. "OH MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY, BABY!!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!! I DO LOVE YOU!!!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU!! I DIDN'T!!! REALLY!!!! I'M SO SORRY!!! OH GOD, I'M SO SORRY!!!!" she cried, kissing C.C. over and over in between words.

"Just...just take me to the infirmary...augh, it hurts so bad..." C.C. said quietly.

"RIGHT!!! RIGHT!!! TO THE INFIRMARY!!! I...I WON'T LET YOU DIE ON ME, MY LOVE!!!"

"I...I'm not gonna die..."

Kallen quickly rushed out the door and down the hallway, carrying C.C. with her.

Lelouch sighed, and turned back to his desk. 'Fuckin' PMS...' he thought.

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After having the door repaired, Lelouch once again attempted to finish his schoolwork. Kallen was still at the infirmary, tending to C.C.'s every need, so hopefully he would finally have some peace and quiet.

However...

"MILLY, GIVE ME BACK MY PANTIES!!!"

"NO!!! THEY'RE MINE NOW!!! YOU LEFT THEM AT MY PLACE, AND ANYTHING IN MY VICINITY AUTOMATICALLY BECOMES MINE!!! YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT, SHIRLEY!!!"

Lelouch had a sudden violent twitch. 'Goddamit...'

"THAT'S COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS!!! JUST GIVE ME BACK MY - HEY, DON'T SNIFF THEM, YOU PERVERTED BITCH!!!"

"AHH...THEY SMELL JUST LIKE YOUR CUTE LITTLE ASS!!!"

Lelouch buried his face into his hands, and began to sob.

"ARGH!!! I...I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I LOVE YOU!!!"

"YOU LOVE ME BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME!!! DON'T QUESTION THE WAYS OF SEXUAL DESIRE!!!"

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'I...really...hate...these...damn...lesbians...'


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

A/N: A second chapter?!!!

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_6:09 a.m....down in the kitchen..._

Lelouch was pouring himself a nice hot cup of coffee when he realized how unnaturally quiet it was in the house.

'Huh...that's weird...normally, C.C. and Kallen are at it like rabbits by this hour...'

The warmth of the coffee as it slid down his throat sent a chill up Lelouch's spine. Taking the cup with him, Lelouch made his way back upstairs to his room. He was about halfway down the hall when he noticed two figures making out quite furiously within the darkness of the shadows. As Lelouch had suspected, it was C.C. and Kallen.

C.C. let out a small groan as Kallen held her up against the wall, sliding her tongue along the green-haired girl's flat stomach. Neither of them were wearing any clothes. Normally, Lelouch would have found this to be quite erotic, but he was too damn tired for this crap so early in the morning.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Lelouch snapped in disgust, "DON'T YOU TWO EVER STOP?!! AND PLEASE, NOT IN THE HALLWAY, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!!"

Looking up at him, Kallen replied like it was no big deal, "Hey, at least we're doing it in the hall, unlike Shirley and Milly..."

"What do you mean?"

"...You'll see what I mean soon enough..." Kallen said in a cryptic manner, and then she returned her attention to C.C., who was twitching with a wonderful feeling of ecstasy flowing through her body.

Shaking his head, Lelouch walked past them, and took another sip of coffee. From behind, he could hear C.C. cry out in joy.

'Why can't they just have gay sex somewhere else...?' Lelouch wondered.

When Lelouch finally came to a stop in front of his bedroom door, however, he was shocked to hear voices coming from within. Pressing his ear against the door, Lelouch finally realized what Kallen had meant concerning Shirley and Milly.

"Ooh...oh, Milly...yeah, touch me there...touch me there...aaahh...it feels so...so goooood..."

"Heh...we've only just started, my love..."

"Aaahhhhh..."

Lelouch grimaced. 'OH MY GOD...'

Kicking the door open, Lelouch was horrified to find Shirley and Milly having sex. Well, it wasn't the fact they were having sex that horrified him, but it was the fact that they were doing it...IN HIS BED. The two girls came to a complete stop when they realized Lelouch was glaring at them.

Throwing his head back, Lelouch screamed, "I CAN'T EVEN LEAVE MY BEDROOM FOR FIVE MINUTES WITHOUT TWO GIRLS GOING IN AND HAVING SEX IN MY BED?!!!"

"...Sorry..." was all Milly could say.

"SORRY?!! YOU HAVE YOUR OWN BEDROOM TO FUCK AROUND IN, GODDAMMIT!!! WHY DID YOU COME IN HERE?!!"

"Well, it's just...your bed is much softer than ours...it's way better for having sex on..."

"GET...OUT!!! AND TAKE YOUR CLOTHES WITH YOU!!!"

Sighing, Milly climbed out of bed, and Shirley soon followed. As the two girls were leaving, however, Milly stopped next to Lelouch and told him, "You might want to get the sheets washed before you use them again, just so you know..."

Lelouch sighed. 'Why do I even LET them live here again...?'


End file.
